Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 03:12 pm

Your all excited to hang out with this other girl, You hang out with her all day yesterday then call me when you get home all excited, You do things with her we were supposed to do together. What am I supposed to think. I'm not a jealous person but when you and her used to have something going on between you I get a twinge. I've mentioned breaking up to you more than once and both times you seem to hate the idea, Yet all you can speak of is her and the other one a happy thoughtful shine in your eyes. Sometimes I wonder why your with me, Sometimes I wonder why I'm with you. We're not a couple, We're part time, When you feel like it. If she's what you really want, Just tell me please. No more head games I'm finished. Do you even think of me? Do thoughts of us cross your mind as you sit happily with her, Later coming to me and maing up excuesses for her presense with you at lunch,And your absence in mine. People come to me, Say they saw you with her, Ask me why your not with me. I can't answer them, I don't understand you, Your a stranger to me. We live in diffrent worlds, Why did we think we could bring them together. I swore to myself I would try to hang on to this because of how much I cared about you, Your heart doesn't lie with mine and I'm not willing to hold you back.
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 Leave a comment | 26 comments

Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 07:46 pm
[info]still_here_4_u

Every time one of us is going through something, the other knows exactly what is going on. I want to hug you... so bad. Because the last guy I was with, this was the exact way it went. And you don't deserve this.. you really don't... I wish I could give you all that you really deserve.. I'm so sorry.
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 07:56 pm
[info]scorned_shadow

I would love to get a hug from you, Even if it was just one. And don't feel sorry huni, I'm used to this now. All my relationships start out seemingly perfect..then wind up morphing into crap. I try to talk to him, To tell him what is wrong but he has nothing to say on the matter. He just doesn't understand.
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:06 pm
[info]still_here_4_u

I know... God... I am so sorry. :-(
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:12 pm
[info]scorned_shadow

No hun, Please don't be sorry.We're stronger than that :]
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:13 pm
[info]still_here_4_u

I wish that I was.
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:14 pm
[info]scorned_shadow

Yes you are, I know that you are. Maybe not all the time but I know you have your inner strength. All you need to do is learn how to channel it.
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:15 pm
[info]still_here_4_u

Ugh. Wish it was that easy. lol. Sometimes, I just want to lie down and sleep for days... Wish I could.
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:19 pm
[info]scorned_shadow

I've done that, Skipped school ignored everyone. I find that my bed is the only place I feel safe. It comforts me. And sleep is my only solitude. Nothing can harm or touch me there. It's the one time I don't have to worry about anything..all my thoughs are shut off..silence
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:19 pm
[info]still_here_4_u

I wish mine would shut off... when I lie in bed, I still think.
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:21 pm
[info]scorned_shadow

Oh yea so do mine, I ment when I finally fall asleep. My thoughts often keep me up at night.
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:24 pm
[info]still_here_4_u

Yeah... I haven't slept in a week, because I'm out of sleeping pills
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:28 pm
[info]scorned_shadow

I want to get some sleeping pills, But you need parents and mine don't believe in that kind of medication..So I suffer with trying to force myself to sleep..Or i smoke pot.
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:29 pm
[info]still_here_4_u

Don't smoke pot...it's bad for you...
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:30 pm
[info]scorned_shadow

I know it is..But the idea of knowing I will have such a good sleep after smoking it is enough for me to forget about how bad it is for me.
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:30 pm
[info]still_here_4_u

yeah... I just don't want anything to happen to you.
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:33 pm
[info]scorned_shadow

*smiles* hearing you say that means a lot. It's not very often someone I care about says that to me.Thank you
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:36 pm
[info]still_here_4_u

Awe. And I mean it too... because you have been nothing but amazing to me... and I really really like talking to you...and I don't want something bad to happen, especially when I can't come visit you and help you through it..
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:40 pm
[info]scorned_shadow

You've been nothing but amazing to me too. Talking to you makes me feel so much better inside. Just because I know I can talk to you and you actually listen and understand without giving me pity because i hate that..You coming to visit me..oh if only :[ Do you have aim or msn?
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:41 pm
[info]still_here_4_u

I have AIM dyingtobe07
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:43 pm
[info]scorned_shadow

Alrighty, I'll add you on there.
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Sun, Jan. 21st, 2007, 08:44 pm
[info]still_here_4_u

Okay. :-)
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Mon, Jan. 22nd, 2007, 01:45 am
[info]ssgt_m_l_batt

i think you know what i'm going to say :/
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Mon, Jan. 22nd, 2007, 02:25 am
[info]scorned_shadow

Lol, I bet you $10 I do, He showed up at my work tonight to, I wanted to say something so bad but I couldn't because I was at work so it would be pointless to try and get him talking. All I told him was when me and my mom went out to dinner we talked about him, So I think I got him worried about what was said which makes me feel good.
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Tue, Jan. 23rd, 2007, 04:41 am
[info]ssgt_m_l_batt

heh wow maybe he actually does care.
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Tue, Jan. 23rd, 2007, 08:15 pm
[info]scorned_shadow

Nah I'm seriously starting to think maybe he doesn't. I'm starting to hear stuff about him being with his ex now. He left me yesterday to go and hang out with "people" he's still ignoring me at school. I just don't know what to do. People are saying I'm probably just a rebound to him.
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Wed, Jan. 24th, 2007, 04:55 am
[info]ssgt_m_l_batt

hmmm... so he's like, using you sort of? like it doesn't really mean anything to him?
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